Tuesday, 08 September 2015 07:25

Truths for a Lasting Marriage

Written by  Bob Crittendon
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Recently, my wife, Beth, and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, and coinciding with it, we opened up a box from our storage room full of wedding memorabilia - including the guest books from our wedding, the program, and even the script for the ceremony.  It was a fun journey to relive some of those moments, and one that I would highly recommend for married couples.  We also celebrated by pulling out our wedding video (that’s right, on VHS).

Looking back at milestones in our lives can help reinforce some of those glorious moments on life’s journey, especially when you consider some of those spiritual moments.  We devoted our marriage ceremony to be a time of worship and celebration.  One of the ministers performing our ceremony encouraged those in attendance, as we spoke words of affirmation to one another, to take some time to affirm their spouse along with us.

As we move into the next 25 years and beyond, I wanted to share some random thoughts about some principles I think Beth and I have learned and experienced over the previous quarter-century.  I did not say “mastered,” but I think maybe some of these will resonate with you.  So, let’s go with what we could call, “Truths For a Lasting Marriage.”

You have to make sure that you are dedicated to make a marriage last.  I think one of the reasons that we have such a high divorce rate in our society today is that many do not go into marriage with the intent of it lasting.  We have to take the necessary steps to make sure our lives together are strong, especially as life circumstances change.

I also think that you have to be intentional in communication.  On a normal weekday, Beth and I try to take time for a checkup, to share and to listen to one another when I come home from work.  This is a special time, and it’s clear to the children that this is set aside for just the two of us.

And, we have to be intentional in communication - with God.   We can be challenged to pray for one another and to pray with each other.  That’s the intent for us each night - to hold hands and spend time in prayer.  I believe the image of two people joined together with the hand of God in our midst can be powerful for us.

Also, recognize in our marriages that we are called to serve one another.  The life that is surrendered to God includes the element of servanthood. Christ loved the church, His bride, and gave His life for her.  So we, as husbands, are called to lay down our lives for our wives.  And, wives are called to possess that humble attitude, as well.

With that attitude of humility, there is an atmosphere for compromise.  In the good sense.  We’re not called to get our way all the time - we are called to follow in God’s ways.

I think it’s important that we recognize God has called us together as a team.  As we rely on Him, we can build a sense of teamwork - we are walking side-by-side, under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, walking in love with each other, and we can know and experience that pursuit of common goals and interests.  I think couples can get out of sync when one or both of the parties in a marriage are out there making decisions, sometimes major ones, without consulting their spouse.  And, when we do disagree, it’s imperative that we seek an amicable solution.

Now, in a marriage, there will likely come times when you offend your mate.  Do you apologize or seek forgiveness in order to make things right?  When you say or do the wrong thing and you can see that you have not pleased your mate, it’s important to be sensitive to that and take the necessary steps to clear the air.

We also recognize the spiritual elements that can be detrimental to a marriage.  Satan is devoted to dividing and bringing discord.  We have to recognize when our homes are under attack and take the necessary steps to see God’s victory released in our homes. 

That gets us right back to the power of prayer.  Marriages are under intense pressure these days, and we need the power of God to be released in our homes as we seek to grow in our love for one another.  As we make Jesus the Lord of our marriages, the way we raise our children, and the issues that confront our homes, we will become more sensitive to the Holy Spirit and turn to Him, realizing that we need His power and love.



Last modified on Wednesday, 09 September 2015 09:04
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